Tell me a joke .....?

Ermelinda Stalnaker: This joke came out before the internet. Where else would the chicken get to play Frogger?

Magda Vandergriend: how is a girl like a tornado?they moan when they come and take the house when the leave1

Stanton Degregorio: When will Big Ben go digital?

Mitsuko Manne: coz they r getting big buks on name of resurch.they will find it when every one on earth will be a HIV +

Leann Villalta: Waking up in the morning was the second hardest thing.

Gennie Shauer: "We just found out my little brother has a peanut allergy, which is very serious I know. But still I feel like my parents are totally overreacting -- they caught me eating a tiny little bag of airline peanuts and they kicked me out of his funeral. " This joke was brought to you by Anthony Jeselnik (I am not him but he is an amazing comedian go look him up :) )another one By a comedian Known as Jim Jefferies. "Men don’t give a fluck about kissing. Used to like kissing when w! e were in our early teens. Then someone sucked our dick. And then, “What’s this kissing thing? Why would I ride on the swings? I’ve already been to Disneyland.”"...Show more

Dick Maisenbacher: Nicki Minaj is talented.

Jon Bergmeier: http://www.alternativescentral.com/manipulation-me...

Bernie Cerra: I mean seriously? is there even a true answer to the riddle, other than "to get to the other side". Who made this up??? people like me spend hours trying to figure out what could have really interested the chicken so much...i wanna see what u think.Why did the chicken cross the road?

Roselee Mczeal: I think, that is because GOD wants, all human beings believe in his only son JESUS CHRIST as their savior. (The name of JESUS can cure) Bible(acts3:1-8)

Antonette Shappy: They r busy F*****G

Davida Gisriel: I once took a crap and it looked like a mustash.

Wilbert Shellgren: A tough looking outdoorsman went into the dentist for a filli! ng of a tooth"This is going to take a lot of drilling. I'll h! ave to give you this shot.""Naw Doc! Ah don't want no shot! Go ahead. I never said "Ouch!" but twice in mah life!""But this is going to hurt! Let me give you this Novocaine.""Naw Doc! Go ahead and drill. Ah never said "Ouch" but twice in my life."So the dentist drilled and drilled. The man never moved."I must say you are amazing to take all that without a shot." said the dentist at last."By the way, what happened to make you say "ouch" the first time?""Ah wuz huntin an squatted to take a c**p and my balls hung down into a bear trap.""My goodness! That must have hurt! When did you say ouch" the second time?""When ah hit the end of the chain!"...Show more

Malcom Bourek: not really funny

Asley Quickle: Once there was a manhe died(get it? Hahahaha!)

Mahalia Brindle: A man and his wife are having trouble having a baby, so the man goes to see the doctor. The man is told that he needs to give the doctor a sperm sample, so he gets a jar and takes it ho! me. The next day, the man goes back to the doctor. When the doc walks into the room, the man pipes up:"Doctor, I tried last night, but I couldn't get it. I asked my wife for some help, but she couldn't do it either. She recommended asking the neighbor lady to help, so I went over to ask her, but she couldn't do it for me either. She told me to hold on for a moment, and went to get her husband. When he couldn't get it, we all worked together, but no matter what we all tried, we couldn't-" The doctor interrupts, appalled. He screams at the man, "What kind of sick f*ck are you?!"The man looks stunned for a moment, then looks at the doctor and asks, "What do you mean? We just couldn't get the dang jar open!"...Show more

Isreal Kochheiser: A man walks into a bar...no wait, it was a horse...a man walks into a horse

Kate Baune: Chinese: Me not come to work, me sick. Boss: When I'm sick I have sex with my wife, try it. Later Chinese called back: It worked. Me better. Yo! u got nice house! Lol Im a dork so hush

Ofelia Kieck: BARACK OBAM! A:The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!JOHN MC CAIN:My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.HILLARY CLINTON:When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road.; This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me..DR. PHIL:The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.OPRAH:Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to c! ross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.GEORGE W. BUSH:We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.COLIN POWELL:Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.JOHN KERRY:Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.NANCY GRACE:That chicken crossed the roa! d because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.! PAT BUCHANAN:To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.MARTHA STEWART:No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.DR SEUSS:Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.EMO CHILD:To die in the rain. Alone.JERRY FALWELL:Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.GRANDPA:In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the roa! d. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.BARBARA WALTERS:Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.ARISTOTLE:It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.JOHN LENNON (wrote the song "imagine"):Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.BILL GATES:I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C%ALBERT EINSTEIN:Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?BILL CLINTON:I did not cross the road with THAT chicken!!!! ...What is your definition of chicken?AL GORE:I inven! ted the chicken!COLONEL SANDERS:Did I miss one?DICK CHENEY:Where's my g! un?REV. JEREMIAH WRIGHT:Why are all the chickens white? ... We need some black chickens! That is what is wrong with this accursed country of slavery and betrayal! Yes, Whitey is keeping the black chickens down, with the help of all the Uncle Tom chickens stooping to betray themselves…...Show more

Ira Porietis: Look in the mirror. LOL!!!!!

Maritza Ebanks: the KFC chef was chasing him. lol

Ira Porietis: Some famous scientists answer: Why did the chicken cross the road? Andre Ampere: 'To keep up with current events.' Albert Einstein: 'Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken? Alexander Graham Bell: 'To get to the nearest phone.' Robert Boyle: 'She had been under too much pressure at home.' James Watt: 'It thought it would be a good way to let off steam.' Thomas Edison: 'She thought it would be an illuminating experience.' Jean Foucault: 'It didn't. The rotation of the earth made it appear to cross.' Karl Gauss: 'Beca! use of the magnetic personality of the rooster on the other side.' Gustav Hertz: 'Lately, its been crossing with greater frequency.' Georg Ohm: 'There was more resistance on this side of the road.' Erwin Schrodinger: 'Since the wording of the question implies the absence of an observer (else the fowl's motivation might easily be deduced), it is evident that the chicken simultaneously did and did not cross the road. In the face of this, any speculation as to the bird's purpose must be viewed as mere sophistry - and as such is beyond the bounds of this discussion.'...Show more

Lonnie Jehle: What kind of bee makes milk? Boo-beesWhy is Tigger always dirty? Cuz he is always playing with PoohWhy do blondes drink through straws? practiceWhat's long, hard and full of seamen? a submarine

Cierra Gadbaw: Due to the satisfaction he recieved when crossing roads? lol I don't know..it is strange isn't it? Hmmm

Lady Laflin: Because the DJ was playing Get Your Freak On / G! et Your Free Corn

Rosalva Steinmann: I have two cats that I keep ! in my house as pets, but the other day, I found out that they are really WATCH CATS! Y'know, like watch dogs? Well, I was sitting down watching TV the other night and this guy barges in through my front door, sticks a gun in my face and exclaims, "Your money or your life!"And sure enough, the two cats sat there and watched.

Ty Kirton: cause it was retarded and felt like getting squished =] lol

Collin Pelfrey: wat?

Valentine Willinger: i need a good laugh! :)

Ulysses Failey: Bill Cosby 's Answer--Weeelll, ya see, the chicken crossed the road,and to get... to...the jello pudding pops.Albert Einstein's answer--Did the chicken cross the road? Or did the road move beneath the chicken?Grandpa's answer--In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.Someone told us that the chicken crossed to road, and that was good enough for usDr. Suess's answer--Did the chicken cross the road?Did he cross it with a toad?Yes, the chicken crossed to road,But why! it crossed, I've not been told!Martha Stewart's answer--No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going.I had a standing order at the farmers market to sell my eggs when the droppedto a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.Bill Gates answer--I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads,but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook -and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.Shakespears answer --To cross, or not to cross. That, is the question.Snoop Dogg 's Answer--This (censored) fool of a chicken didn't (censored) knowwhat the (censored) he was doin crossin a (censored)alley in (censored) Harlem at 1:00 in the (censored) mornin'.Homer Simpson 's Answer--There was free beer on the other side of the road.Jessica Simpson 's Answer--Why would he be on a road, I thought chickens lived in the ocean?Mythbusters's Answer--If you fire a frozen chicken out of a cannon; not onlywi! ll it cross a road, it could be a lethal projectile.Coldplay's Answer--! "The chicken crossed the road for you and everything you did. And the chicken was all yellow."George W. Bush's answerLook, it's tough crossin' the road. The chicken knowsit's tough. The American people have got to understandthat I know the chicken knows it's tough. I read the report.But the chicken's on the march. And it will get the job done .hope that answers your question ((:...Show more

Rose Krouse: Its just a joke and there are various reasons why the chicken crossed the road!!

Donnie Bolio: ok there was 3 people on a plane and if they jump off the plane they can make a wish and there land in the wish ok the first guy is a Mexican he jumps off and wishes for money so he lands in money then next is a white guy he jumps off and wishes for water then the black guy is going to jump off but he slips and while he's falling he says ****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so he lands in ****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!if you don't see **** the! n it' a bad word but it's poop....Show more

Elissa Curlin: To run away from KFC? LOL i suck at riddles & such xD

Son Ahlers: population con troll

Sherri Drakos: Because they can't get the little mice to ButtF**k