Maria Devenney: HelloI think you are very brave to have done what you have. You knew there was a chance of passing on a mental illness and took measures to ensure it didn't happen - that is responsible and loving!!! I know too well the trauma of mental illness and understand therefore why you would choose not to want to pass this down. I also hear what you are saying re taking on a child with Mental Illness (if that's the way it turns out - and applaud you for that, you are basically saying you are not against taking on the illness, just don't want to bring anyone else into the world with it. Choosing to adopt is a wonderful thing - there are so many children out there who need people like you. Your act is completely selfless and I wish you well. You are responsible and caring just what a child needs in a parent....Show more
Andra Oger: Listen Sarah...I know Im not really answering your questionBut I need to talk to you...Yes this is the "deaf" girlBut please!I ne! ed to email you. Please at least allow me to email you just for a little while...!...Show more
Clifford Riggleman: YESSSSSS...I have asked the question...am I a selfish person for having chosen NOT to have children...people that know me say NO...I guess that's because the people that know me can see my dilemma...and they wouldn't wish it upon themselves.... I suffer from severe Chronic Depression... Disthymia..and Social Anxiety...I have been diagnosed as disabled for 13 years now...I am 49 years old and got my tubes tied at the age of 35...they wouldn't tie them any earlier because I didn't have any children and they thought I may change my mind...My family has a myriad of problems from alcohol and drug addiction to epilepsy to requiring electric shock therapy...I tried to kill myself at the young ages of 8 and 10...and.again at the age of 47...I have been in and out of therapy, mental hospitals, psych offices, rehabs, weeks in bed...plus on and off medications s! uffering from all of the side effects.for years on end...witho! ut any real promising results...I have been stable enough to live at the same place for 13 years...albeit. alone all those years...I don't want to invest in a relationship either...not with my ups and downs... I rarely leave my house but I am lucky enough to have made friends that have lived here a while too......and my friends...do not judge...they know all of my history...they've seen me whisked off to the mental ward a few times...they've come over and cleaned my "rat trap" while I was in the hospital...they knock on my door when they haven't seen me in 2-3 weeks...and they agree...I'm great with kids but ...it was the right decision for me...not to have children....However..I have never doubted my decision to have my tubes tied...I am great with kids, all the neighbors feel free to run in and out of my front door anytime it's open. I go to the library, parks, fairs and other fun places with "other people's children"...and yet...when the time comes....and the door is sh! ut solid...I don't have to worry about being a "good mother" to my kids...and the children understand that I won't be coming out "to play"...and they don't suffer any from my illness...they have their own family and homes to love them when I am not up to it.... I feel I would have done worse damage to the psyche of a child had I become a mother...or...like you fear...passed on a dibilitating illness that sucks the pleasure and interest out of one's life..and sometimes the ability to even care for oneself....I cannot take care of another...when I'm on a roller coaster just trying to get off and take care of my own needs.sometimes I let the decision start asking the questions... who is going to take care of me when I get old... will I wind up the old lady in the folk's home who never has anyone visit her...who do I leave my will to...BUT...I put those silly questions away...after all...I've got today to get through... can't worry about tomorrow...it's not even here yet... and! I'm already tired...lol...but content...If your friend could only see ! the devastating side of what you fear...in a living breathing human being...with the potential for livlihood and a full-life ripped out from under them...mental illness...hurts...everyone...as the commercial says..then maybe her judgement would be more empathetic and she could put her friendship in the support mode...where friendships should be...let her read this and maybe she will start to see the light...but of course...she will soften when she is introduced to the child you plan to adopt...children can do that...warm the heart....So...I've rambled on enough...put your thoughts before you... don't look back...or give a sideways glance to any comments...you have a wonderful life to look forward to...and the next 18 years needs all your attention...lolLive, Laugh, LoveNameste'.. ...Show more
Hobert Dula: It's because they think she might change her mind later, and it is expensive to reverse and difficult and they don't want to deal with the potential lawsuits if they! weren't able to reverse the procedure. It's not just women, men generally can't get vasectomies without having kids or reaching a certain age either. Doctors are somewhat more ready to do vasectomies on younger childless men than tying tubes of younger childless women because vasectomies are easier and have less chance of not being reversable (though it's a common misconception they're always reversable, there is a chance they won't be especially if it has been a while since it was done) but there are still some pretty strict limits on getting them too. I don't really know why doctors feel like they have to think for others, but in this day and age of lawsuits left and right it's easy to see where they're coming from, even if I don't agree with how they do it. There are some doctors who will do these procedures on younger people but they're hard to find, and from what I hear will typically really push you to find out if you're really wanting to do this....Show more
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